EMDR Therapy: What It Is, What It Helps With, and What to Expect
EMDR has been gaining attention in recent years — not least when Prince Harry spoke openly about using it to process grief and anxiety following the death of his mother. That kind of public conversation is genuinely valuable, because EMDR is a remarkably effective approach that remains less well understood than it deserves to be.
As with any therapeutic method, though, it's worth knowing what it actually involves, what it can and can't help with, and whether it might be the right fit for you.
What Is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It's a structured therapeutic approach designed to help people process distressing memories, trauma, and experiences that continue to affect their day-to-day life long after the events themselves have passed.
The method was developed by American psychologist Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, initially for the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Her central observation was that unprocessed traumatic memories can become "stuck" in the brain — stored in a way that keeps the emotional charge of the original experience alive, triggering symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, hypervigilance and avoidance, sometimes years or even decades later.
Shapiro noticed that rapid eye movements — similar to those that occur naturally during REM sleep, which is when the brain is thought to process daily experience — seemed to reduce the intensity of distressing memories. Subsequent research confirmed that EMDR could be effective even when applied many years after the original events.
In practice, EMDR involves focusing on a difficult memory or thought while simultaneously receiving bilateral stimulation — a rhythmic, alternating activation of both sides of the body. This can be done through guided eye movements following the therapist's hand, light bar, or finger; through alternating taps on each side of the body; through handheld buzzers; or through audio tones delivered through headphones. The bilateral stimulation appears to help the brain process and integrate the memory differently, reducing its emotional charge while allowing more balanced, adaptive perspectives to emerge.
A useful example: imagine an adult who, when recalling a childhood mistake and a parent's reaction, still feels a wave of disproportionate shame or guilt. Through EMDR, they might revisit that memory with less emotional intensity, begin to evaluate it from their current adult perspective rather than through the eyes of the child they were, recognise that the mistake was developmentally normal, and release the belief that it still defines them. The emotional response fades — sometimes significantly, sometimes completely — along with its influence on their present-day behaviour and sense of self.
Is EMDR Evidence-Based?
Yes — it's one of the most thoroughly researched therapies currently available.
EMDR is recommended as a first-line treatment for PTSD by:
NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, updated 2018) — the UK's clinical guideline authority
The World Health Organization (WHO, 2013)
The American Psychological Association (APA)
The NHS, which offers EMDR for PTSD through specialist trauma services
This level of institutional endorsement across multiple countries is significant. Few therapeutic approaches have this breadth of independent validation.
What Can EMDR Help With?
While EMDR was originally developed for trauma and PTSD, its applications have expanded considerably. It can be helpful for:
Trauma — both single incidents (accidents, assault, medical events) and complex or developmental trauma
Anxiety and panic
Phobias
Grief and loss
Chronic pain — where emotional and psychological factors are contributing to the experience of pain
Disordered eating and difficult relationships with food - EMDR doesn't directly produce weight loss, but it can be effective for processing the emotional patterns, past experiences, and beliefs that underlie disordered eating.
Excessive jealousy
Stopping smoking
It's important to note that EMDR isn't suitable for everyone, and its effectiveness varies between individuals. A proper initial assessment is essential to determine whether it's the right approach for your particular situation.
What Happens in an EMDR Session?
Sessions last approximately 50 minutes and follow a structured protocol across several phases:
History-taking and assessment The process begins with a thorough initial consultation. Your therapist will want to understand your background, identify the specific memories, experiences or difficulties that are causing symptoms, and assess the level of disturbance involved. This baseline assessment is used throughout the work to track progress. In subsequent sessions, each appointment begins with a brief check-in to note anything that has arisen since the last session.
Preparation Before processing begins, you and your therapist establish coping strategies and stabilisation resources — techniques to manage stress and strong emotions if the work becomes intense. This might include developing an imagined safe place you can return to mentally, or specific relaxation and grounding techniques. No processing happens until this foundation is in place.
Bilateral stimulation Once ready, you focus on the target memory or difficulty while receiving bilateral stimulation — eye movements, tapping, or audio tones alternating from side to side. Each set lasts a few minutes and is repeated multiple times within a session.
Processing During the bilateral stimulation, you're invited to focus on the core memory, sensation or thoughts being worked on, and then let your mind go wherever it naturally goes — thoughts, images, emotions, physical sensations, other memories. This free-associative process allows the brain to reprocess the material, often shifting the emotional charge and the meaning attached to the experience.
Re-evaluation Between each set of stimulations, your therapist checks in: what came up? What do you notice now — emotionally, physically, cognitively? The sets continue until the memory no longer generates significant disturbance.
Closure Every session ends with a stabilisation phase to ensure you leave feeling settled. EMDR can bring up strong material, and the closing phase matters.
The number of sessions varies considerably depending on what's being addressed and how it presents for each individual. Some specific issues can shift in a handful of sessions; complex or long-standing trauma typically requires more time.
My Approach to EMDR
I work with adults aged 16 and over, and use EMDR exclusively as a focused intervention — targeted at a specific issue rather than as an ongoing thread running through wider therapy. In practice, this can look different depending on how you come to it: some clients come specifically for EMDR to address one particular issue, and that's what we do. Others are already in counselling with me and we identify along the way that EMDR would be useful for a specific aspect — in which case we pause the therapy, complete the EMDR work, and return to the broader therapeutic work afterwards. And sometimes, following an initial assessment, I may suggest EMDR as the most appropriate starting point, with the option of moving into counselling afterwards if needed. The approach I use is based on the standard eight-phase EMDR protocol, adapted to each person's pace and needs.
The areas I work with most frequently using EMDR include anxiety, phobias, grief, complex emotional patterns (such as excessive jealousy or self-critical beliefs), and chronic pain with a psychological dimension.
So, What Can You Actually Do?
This isn't an argument for throwing your phone into the Thames and staring at a tree for three hours. (Though, given some algorithms, the tree might have more interesting things to say.)
It's more of an invitation to ask: what if you gave boredom a little room to exist, without immediately filling it? Not as a wellness performance. Not as another item on the self-improvement list. Just as a small experiment in being somewhere without a project.
Walk without a destination. Read without a timer. Ring someone for no particular reason. Let an afternoon simply be an afternoon, rather than an opportunity to optimise something.
When you move through the discomfort of emptiness rather than around it, something sometimes settles. Not a revelation. Not a sudden surge of productivity. More a different quality of attention — quieter, less oriented toward what still needs to be done.
And if boredom comes knocking, it might occasionally be worth letting it in — because quite often, when you stop fighting it, it passes on its own. Not because you fled, but because you let it do its work.
Slowing down isn't a skill you acquire once. It's a permission you keep giving yourself, in small gestures, on small Saturdays, gradually.
Or, if nothing else: watching the rain — which, in London, gives you rather a lot of opportunities to practise.
I offer EMDR therapy in person in West Hampstead and Paddington/Lancaster Gate in London, and online across the UK. If you'd like to explore whether EMDR might be right for you, get in touch — I'm happy to answer questions before you commit to anything.
